


You Can't Always Get What You Want

by thevoiceslockedaway



Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 11:43:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16240928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevoiceslockedaway/pseuds/thevoiceslockedaway
Summary: Essence has been promised to Taylor, but her parents failed to tell her. Now she has a man in her life, but Taylor always get what he wants.Written 2004Incomplete. Leave feedback if you'd be interested in seeing it finished.





	1. Chapter 1

"What?! No way. I refuse!" 18-year-old Essence was hysterical.

  
"Honey, this was all arranged a long time ago, before you even knew who he was," her mother, Karen, said calmly from her seat at the dining room table of their rather poor house, "It will bring money for your father and I, which is definitely a bonus. We just thought we'd save you the trouble of finding a husband. Plus you'll live in luxury for the rest of your life. What a lucky girl you are Essence."

  
Essence looked at her mother in shock, "I don't care about money and certainly wouldn't marry anyone for that alone! If I cared so damn much about it, I don't know how I could have possibly grown up in what limited finds you have!"

  
"Now Essence, you know not to swear and I would think you'd be grateful," her father, Ben, reprimanded her.

  
"Grateful?! For your trying to control my life and who I'll marry? Grateful for thinking I'd still want to marry the guy who broke my heart after so many years by marrying a slut? Grateful for it taking a year and a half for me to get over him just so you could try to make me love him less than a year later? Yeah, I am so incredibly grateful!" she screamed, her voice oozing with sarcasm as she let her usually leashed temper go.

  
"Essence you will calm yourself this instant. Do you hear me?" her father yelled.

  
"Whatever you thought was love and a broken heart, wasn't. You couldn't possibly know. You haven't even ever met him," her mother said into the silence.

  
Essence gaped in disbelief at her, "I know how I felt. I know what I went through. And I don't give a damn if you or anyone for that matter, believe me or not. And I will not marry him. You can't make me so just get over that stupid idea!" she stormed off to her room before either of her parents could argue.

  
Karen sighed, rubbing her forehead where a migraine was starting, "This will be harder than I thought."

  
"Regardless, she will walk down that aisle next year after his divorce is finalized," Ben replied, leaning back in his chair.  
~ * ~   
Upstairs, Essence had finally let the tears fall, as she dialed her boyfriend of three months, Justin's phone number.  
He answered on the third ring, "Hello?"

  
"Justin, this is Essence," she sobbed as she flung herself onto her bed.

  
"Hey baby, I was just thinking about you," then he recognized the tears in her voice, "What's got you upset sweetheart?"

  
"You know I love you right?" she said, almost desperately, "I'd never leave you no matter what."

  
"Of course honey, I know. I love you too," his concern grew at her words, "Tell me what's wrong."

  
Between tears she spilled out what happened and the problems that had arisen.

  
"But I don't want to be with him. I love you. So much," she had soaked her pillow by now with the tears streaming rapidly out of her dark brown eyes and off her cheeks.

  
He knew all about how she used to love Taylor and how eventually she had gotten over him. He also knew she loved him now and would never have the same feelings for the Hanson dude again, "It's okay baby. I believe you. We'll get through this. Everything will work out," he also loved her, way too much to ever giver her up. And he sure as hell wouldn't let this guy have her, especially after how bad his actions had hurt her in the past.

  
"How about I come pick you up and we'll go out to our place? We can be together and work this through, okay?"

  
Her hopes lifted a little at his words, "Okay. I'll see you in a bit."

  
"I'll be there soon, be waiting."

  
"I will. I love you."

  
"I love you too. Bye baby."

  
"Bye."

  
She hung up the phone and hurriedly touched up her eye makeup, which had gotten smeared, and put on a little lip gloss. She checked to make sure her hair was okay, then grabbed her purse and jacket and ran downstairs, careful to avoid the front of the house and went out the back.

  
She threw her coat on as she walked around the side of the house, looking for her boyfriend's car.

  
He lived about a twenty minute drive from her, so he should be there soon.

  
As she waited, she thought back to how she had met him. A smile crept over her lips as she remembered.  
It had been Halloween of last year. Her best friend, Christine, had been invited to a party and decided it would do Essence good to get out of the house. So that night, Christine's boyfriend of eight months, Evan, picked her and Essence up and drove them to the party.

  
Christine had just turned twenty-one not long before that, so she of course, was drinking. Not a lot, but some. Christine's boyfriend, who was twenty-three, wasn't drinking much either. But that was due to the fact that he had to drive them all home afterwards.

  
Essence couldn't drink because she was only eighteen. She didn't care, she didn't want to anyway. She thought it was stupid and didn't make any sense being intoxicated on a drink she found vile to begin with.

  
How she had met Justin was, she had been sitting alone in the kitchen of the house that the party was at. Christine and Evan were in the living room, she guessed, where the music was blaring a hip hop beat.

  
Essence was pondering to herself why she had even come. She was alone, not having any fun, feeling sorry for herself, listening to music that she didn't even really like.

  
While she was sitting there, a jumble of thoughts running through her head, this average height, punk rock type guy had ambled into the kitchen. When she noticed he was there, all she could do was stare. He was gorgeous. Short black hair spiked, beautiful emerald green eyes, a full lower lip and a curled upper lip. Essence had never been kissed, but she had had such an urge to press her lips to his right then and there. He was wearing black baggy jeans and a red shirt from some band's tour. And she noticed he wasn't some skinny jerk, appearance-wise anyway. He had meat on his bones.

  
When he spoke, his voice was deep and hypnotizing, "What's a pretty girl like you doing sitting here all alone?" He grinned as he sat down across from her.

  
That sentence broke the sort of spell he had managed to have on her.

  
She gave him a cold look and just said, "Quit with the stupid lines. It won't work on me."

  
She knew she wasn't that pretty. She had long brown hair that curled throughout, that refused to ever cooperate with her, dull brown eyes hidden behind glasses, her nose was so pudgy and her mouth was too plump. Not to mention she wasn't a skinny, model type. She weighed 170, but didn't look it. Not too much anyway. She looked like about 150. She didn't like herself much, and being eighteen and never having a boyfriend or even a first kiss, takes a toll on your self esteem. Besides the fact that every guy that she had ever liked hadn't liked her. She had pretty much given up on ever finding someone. She expected to always be alone.

  
Immediately his expression turned guilty, "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I just have been wanting to talk to you all night and well, stupid things tend to slip out of my mouth when it matters the most."

  
She looked at him skeptically, "Uh huh. Sure."

  
"No really. I seriously do think you're pretty. It just came out the wrong way."

  
"I don't have time for a stupid guy making a joke out of me," she started to get up to leave.

  
"Wait, please," he said, desperation tinging his voice, "I'm not playing a joke on you or anything. I honestly like you."

  
"Guys like you never like girls like me," she mumbled, with her eyes tracing a pattern on the floor.

  
He got up and walked around to her. He touched her arm as he tried to come up with the right words to say, "I don't know what you mean by that, but I can honestly say I like you and would love to get to know you," he said, sincerity clearly audible in his voice.

  
"You...you can't like me. It...it doesn't work like that," she replied sadly.

  
He sat down beside her, concern apparent in his eyes, which at the moment were a dark forest green, "What do you mean?"

  
"Every guy I've ever liked hasn't liked me. It's how it's always been. How it always will be."

  
That news gave him a shock. To him she was gorgeous. Long brown hair, with just the right amount of curl, that looked so soft that his fingers ached to run through it. Dark brown eyes that seemed to reflect her heart and soul, that were enhanced by small frame glasses. A cute nose and full plump lips that he wanted to kiss so bad. And her body, looked so soft and round, just waiting to have him run his hands all over it.

  
He shook himself out of his thoughts. He'd need to take things very slowly with her. That was just fine with him, he already liked her a lot from by just watching her through the evening and he didn't want to screw it up with her.  
"I don't see why any guy would let you slip through his fingers. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

  
She shook her head emphatically, "No."

  
"Why?"

  
"Because I'm not a skinny cheerleader. I'm not popular and...guys just don't like me."

  
"The smart guys don't go for the skinny sluts who think they're better than everyone. Personally, I like a girl with more substance. Plus all skin and bones really sucks when you want to cuddle," he gave half a grin.

  
She felt her shield slowly melting. "Those types of guys are very rare then," she said, with a wry smile.

  
He grinned fully, showing perfect straight white teeth, much like her own, "Apparently so."

  
"So what do you say? Will you give me a shot?"

  
His expression was so sincere and she could sense that he was telling the truth, so she nodded and said, "I guess so."

  
"Awesome. I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Justin," he said, sticking out his hand.

  
"I'm Essence," she replied, shaking his offered hand.

  
After that, they sat talking the rest of the night. He even offered to give her a ride home, which she accepted.

  
They started hanging out more and more, and by the middle of November he had asked her to be his girlfriend. They have been together ever since then.

  
She was happy and refused to give it up for some band member that she had had enough hurting because of.  
She came out of her thoughts as she saw her love's car pull up. She climbed in the passenger seat and collapsed into his arms.

  
He held her for a couple minutes, enjoying the feel of her, then slowly disentangled himself. They drove off to their place, where no one could find them until they wanted to be found.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Their place was a small clearing in the woods, pretty much in the middle of nowhere. It was an hour's drive and no one knew of it except them and a couple of Justin's friends, which had also become of Essence's closest friends.

  
Every time they came there Essence was surprised anew. A clearing big enough for three cars to squeeze. Trees everywhere, also making it near impossible to find it unless you knew how, ensuring privacy. It was being in nature and letting yourself go in the freedom.

  
They always came here at night. Surrounded in darkness. Sometimes it scared Essence, because the place was haunted. They had all felt the presence's of the couple who had died there. Car broke down, no food, no contact with the outside world.

  
With all that, you would think no one would go out there. But what Justin and Essence and their few close friends who came out there knew that most didn't, was that the couple were protectors. As long as you respected them, they would help you if you needed it.

  
Essence knew her basis of fear was not necessary, but it was still there, underneath the surface, not bubbling up often, but always there.

  
When Justin parked, Essence immediately went back into his arms, burying her face within the crack of his shoulder and neck, inhaling his cologne.

  
She was safe within the circle of his arms, everything there was right.

  
The whole drive there and while he was holding her, his mind was constantly going. He promises her they would always be together, that everything was going to be okay. So now, how was he going to follow through on his promise? There was no way in hell he was letting her go, that this Hanson guy was taking her away from him.

  
They could run away, he thought, but he didn't want to resort to such drastic measures, yet. He knew without a doubt that Essence would do it, but he didn't want to run away unless it was the only thing left to them.

  
Thankfully, Essence didn't say one word about what they were going to do. She just leaned against him, letting the peace of the clearing in the night surround her.

  
But that didn't mean her mind wasn't racing. She was having the exact same thoughts as he was. Ever since her parents dumped this on her, the constant thing that kept occupying her was running away.

  
Being able to be with Justin all the time, away from the problems, away from everyone. Her parents didn't even really like him because of him dressing goth/punk/metal. They especially didn't like that he had his lip pierced, his tongue pierced, and three piercings in one ear and one in the other. Not to mention he had three tattoos: one of the Grim Reaper on his leg, a sword on his upper arm, and a vampire cross on his back.

  
They only put up with him because they knew Essence wouldn't leave him. And now she understood why they tolerated him. They figured she wouldn't be with him for much longer.

  
Well she'd show them. She loved Justin and the time for Taylor having her love was long gone. He was too late.

  
"I love you Justin, " she whispered into the silence.

  
"I love you too sweethart," he kissed the top of her head and held her tighter still.

  
While Essence and Justin were where no one knew, Taylor had arrived at her house.

  
Karen had embraced him like she would a son and then asked him to wait in the living room while she went to fetch his future bride.

  
Taylor couldn't wait to finally meet Essence. She had been pointed out to him at the couple Hanson concerts she'd been able to attend, but for the sake of both of them, it was agreed they'd never meet before it was time to tell her about the arrangement.

  
They were supposed to marry last year in 2004, the summer after she turned eighteen. But because of his stupid choices, their wedding had to be put on hold for two more years.

  
He was bored with the girls he met. Especially when he knew he already had someone. But when he met Natalie, he still had a little over two years until the marriage, plenty of time to fool around. Something besides music to make the time go faster.

  
What a mistake that turned out to be. Now he had to worry if Essence would accept his son, Ezra.  
Ezra.

  
Just the thought of his two year old son made him smile. Even though the whole thing of Natalie being pregnant being wrong, and the fact that she was the wrong woman to be the mother of Ezra, and even though Ezra was born too early, Ezra himself was definitely not a mistake. If Essence couldn't accept his son, then he would have to find some way to break off the engagement. He loved his son too much to marry a girl who wouldn't love him too.

  
But he didn't think Essence was like that. She seemed to be a sweet, caring person. He only hoped appearances, in this case, were right.

  
He didn't know much about her. Just her age, what she looked like, sort of, that she'd been a dedicated Hanson fan for around eight years. That was about it.

  
Everyone had decided to not let Essence know anything about Taylor, though that backfired when he and his brothers became famous, and for Tay not to know much about Essence, so they would have things to talk about.

  
Even though Essence knew quite a bit about Taylor, teher was still a lot she didn't know. So everything would work out just fine.

  
Tay was jolted out of his thoughts as soon as Essence's mother hurried back into the room with a worried look on her face.

  
He automatically stood up as he saw her features twisted into a frown and her hands wringing together, "What's wrong?"

  
"Essence isn't in her room. I was hoping she'd accept...I mean, that she'd give up that silly notion that she had loved you before and that you broke her heart," she was talking more to herself than to him, but Taylor was very interested in what she was revealing.

  
He slowly sat back down, casually saying,"Really? I had no idea."

  
"No no, of course not. All it was was a crush that she seemed to think was more. Stupid girl," she shook her head, not even realizing what she was saying,"Now she is being extremely difficult with this arrangement. All because of nonsense."

  
Taylor was appalled. Obviously Essence's mother didn't care much about her, it was quite apparent to him. he didn't show any reaction to her tirade though. Instead, he decided to agree to see what else she may say,"Yes, it is nonsense. She doesn't know me, so she can't have possibly loved me." Even though he didn't know her, saying that made his heart ache. He wondered at that strange realization.

  
"Exactly," she was pacing now.

  
Tay followed her progress with his eyes," So, would you happen to know where she went?"

  
"Oh, I know exactly where. Well, not exactly. But I know who she's with. That idiot boy that she thinks she's in love with, and that she thinks is in love with her. I thought I raised an intelligent daughter. Apparently I failed," she shook her head in disgust.

  
The ache in his heart seemed to become more pronounced,"So she's with this guy that she loves...um, thinks she loves? What's his name?" he tried to sound as if it didn't matter to him.

  
"Justin. We only put up with her being with him cause we knew it wouldn't last. We felt a distraction was what she needed. Especially since you had one too. But now it seems she's going to fight this arrangement harder than we anticipated. She has it in her head that they are going to be together forever. 'Soul Mates'," she made quotations with her fingers,"so to speak."

  
"Um, yes. What a ridiculous idea," he said, hesitantly.

  
"Indeed it is. Just wait until she gets back. I'm going to forbid her to see him again," she finally sat down at the end of this vehement statement.

  
"If I could suggest something?" when she nodded, he continued,"Instead, I could just tell her that I don't completely agree with her and me getting married either and want to get to know her better, she may be more amenable. I think having her believe I'm on her side will make her more accepting of our marriage than her being forced into it."

  
Karen was silent for a couple minutes while she thought this over. "Yes," she conceded, slowly, staring out the window,"Excellent idea. Tricking her is just the thing."

  
Tay rolled his eyes but said nothing.

  
"Once you get her cooperation, we can plan the wedding. Try not to take more than a month or two though. Do whatever it takes,"she smiled, pleased with herself.

  
"Of course. I'm sure I can change her mind about all this." They sat in silence for a minute, then he said,"Well, I better be going. I'll get in touch with Essence soon." He got up.

  
Karen walked him to the door,"Don't be too long. We don't really have much time."

  
"I won't. Bye." He climbed in his car and drove off, glad to be away from her. "What a lunatic," he mumbled to himself.  
As he drove through the town to the house he had rented for the time being, he let his mind wander.

  
He wasn't doing this for Essence's mother. As selfish as is sounded, he was going to get Essence to agree to marry him for himself.

  
He didn't know her, but it was definitely not a good thought that she was with a guy that was not him. It really bothered him, but why?

  
"Probably because I got used the idea that she was the one I would marry,"he said to his reflection in the rear view mirror,"Plus, a guy having a girl that's supposed to be mine, I won't tolerate that."

  
"Yes," he whispered," that's it."

  
But as he pulled up to his house, he wasn't so sure that that was the reason. Not sure at all.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Essence spent the night in Justin's arms. Curled in the backseat of his car, kept warm by him and two blankets. The night was extremely chilly, but all she felt was the fire of his love for her, enveloping her in a warm cocoon.

  
Sleep wasn't easy in coming once they entangled themselves from the innocent embrace they had been in. Just enjoying being with each other.

  
But eventually they both fell into a fitful rest.

  
They got back to her house in the predawn darkness. She kissed him and hugged him tight, before she made herself unlock the back door and sneak up to her room.

  
She watched from her window until not even his car's taillights were visible. Then she slowly undressed and crawled into bed to fall into a sleep where she dreamt a blue eyed angel lookalike took her away from the man she loved.

  
She woke up at 11:00 that morning, her cheeks wet with tears.

When she finally managed to drag herself from the warm nest of blankets that she had subconsciously made to imitate her boyfriend's arms, she took a hot shower, scalding her skin to a pink. She dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved Eminem shirt, not able to wear her Hanson ones. She may have still been a fan of the band's music, but she couldn't bear to have anything at all to do with them right now.

  
She finally made an appearance downstairs for lunch at 12:30 that afternoon.

  
Both her parents were sitting in the living room, which she bypassed and headed straight for the kitchen. She grabbed a can of mountain dew and a ham and cheese sandwich with ketchup.

  
As Essence was trying to choke down her food, which her stomach didn't seem to want to accept though she knew she'd make herself sick if she didn't eat something, her mother and father came in.

  
She had managed to eat half of her sandwich and at the sight of them coming into the kitchen, she lost what bit of an appetite that she had had.

  
Her mother leaned against the doorjamb, frowning at her, while her father gave her a stern look.

  
"We know who you were with last night," he began,"we are very disappointed in you. We thought by now you'd see the light of reason, but apparently not."

  
"I suppose forbidding you to see that boy would do no good," her mother continued,"but we are forbidding him to come here. If we see him here, we will call the police. He dresses the part of someone with a drug problem, so I'm sure something could be arranged."

  
Essence gaped at these people who called themselves her parents,"Listen to yourselves! This whole thing is ridiculous! I can't believe I'm even related to you!" She threw her half a sandwich away in disgust and took the rest of her soda with her and ran upstairs, slamming the door.

  
"She is being so unreasonable," Karen said, shaking her head.

  
"She'll come around," Ben answered, thoughtfully.

  
"And if she doesn't?"

  
"Then she'll live in, what is to her, an unreasonable situation until the day she dies."

  
"Quite so."

  
In another part of town, Taylor sat on his couch staring at the TV, not even seeing what was on.

  
He was lost in thoughts on how to get Essence to agree to marry him. He couldn't believe she would choose some punk dude over him.

  
He shook his head, as if to clear away such disagreeable musings.

  
He decided he would just go see her when she was home alone and talk to her and make her see he wasn't the bad guy in all this. Though he supposed, in a way, he sort of was, but she didn't need to know that.

  
He grinned as he checked his watch and saw it was near 1:30. Her parents would be off their lunch breaks and back at work, and Essence would be by herself.

  
He put on his shoes, grabbed grabbed his coat, picked up his keys from the coffee table, and walked outside to his car, whistling.

  
When Taylor arrived at Essence's house, she was sitting on the porch in just jeans and a shirt despite the chill in the air, contemplating her future and the situation in which she now found herself. She watched with a curiosity as to who it was, until she saw the tall frame that got out of the car and the famous blond hair that she had loved so much just a couple years before.

  
As he walked up the steps to the porch and to the swing she was swaying on, she remained motionless, except for her foot moving the swing.

  
He just stood there for a minute, a half smile on his lips, unsure of his welcome.

  
Essence looked him over, her dark brown eyes starting with his blond hair, the pools of blue eyes meeting hers, down the adorable nose and luscious lips that she has kissed so many times in her dreams, over the broad shoulders, chest covered in a long-sleeved blue shirt, down the long legs encased in jeans, and to his feet covered in red and white sneakers.

  
She at one time had adored every inch that was Taylor Hanson. But that time was past.

  
The longer that she didn't say anything, the more nervous he got. He could feel her assessing him, studying him.

  
He studied her as well, and God she was more gorgeous than any picture he had seen could have been. What if his plan didn't work?

  
What am I doing?, he thought, I'm Taylor Hanson. A million girls would give anything to have sex with me, let alone marry me. She should be the one that's nervous, not me.

  
With that, he grinned and said,"Hello Essence. Now that you're done looking me over, and I assume I'm to your satisfaction, I was wondering if we could talk."

  
She couldn't believe what an asshole he was. Any nervousness she might have had was gone.

  
"As a matter of fact," she calmly replied,"you are not to my satisfaction anymore." Her gaze was unflinching as she gauged his reaction.

  
She saw the blue fire flash in his eyes and saw the smile that had been more of a leer, become forced. She watched him until he had regained the composure he had almost lost.

  
She mentally congratulated herself for being able to get under his skin. She felt no remorse for what she had done and what she would do to him if he continued down this path.

  
"I'm sorry to hear that," he sounded sincere, but she had already seen the anger her words had stirred. "I was hoping we could be friends. I'm as much against out parent's plan as you are. I thought together we could get it through their heads," he shoved his hands in his pockets, looking like the Taylor she had loved.

  
"I don't see why we need to listen to them anyway,"Essence stated,"we are both adults. Besides, I have more of a problem than you do. I can't even have my boyfriend around here. The people who call themselves my parents have threatened to have him arrested if they see him here. It's not like I can just move out. At least not right now. You have your own place, all you have to do is stay away from your parents or the worst consequence would be an argument."

  
She had him there. Taylor hadn't realized how smart she was and quickly wracked his brain for a logical reply that would still allow him to continue with his plan without her getting even more suspicious than she already was.

  
"Yes but, I am close with my parents, so to fight with them really sucks. I know it may not seem like much, but it is. At least with your parents, you're used to fighting, so it's not so bad," he thought he made a good point, but it backfired on him.

  
"Not so bad?! Taylor you are such a jerk!" she exploded, getting to her feet abruptly,"All my life it's been nothing but fighting. Constant. Relentless. No peace at all. You've had a devoted family all your life. All you've had was love and caring. You try to live my life for a day Taylor, and then you tell me it's not so bad!" Her brown eyes had pierced his blue ones throughout her speech.

  
At first, he was angry at her outburst, but as he listened all he felt was sadness for her, for the pain that was so apparent in her eyes, that were now welling up with tears.

  
She hurriedly ran inside the house and slammed the door shut and locked it.

  
"Damn it Taylor, you've really done it now. How am I supposed to get on her good side after that?" he mumbled to himself.

  
He figured it was waste to stay there, especially when most likely he'd just cause more damage. So he walked back to his car and drove off.

  
Essence watched him go from an upstairs window. So many emotions were running through her. Anger at the things he had said, sadness about what could never be because of the choices he had made, and so much more.

  
In all honesty, if she had received the news two years ago, or even a year and a half ago, a lot would have been different.

  
She would have ended up marrying Taylor and would have only had happiness. No heartbreak.

  
She wouldn't have went to that party with Christine. Or if she had, she wouldn't have paid much attention to Justin. She would have told him she was taken and that would've been the end of him as far as she would have been concerned.

  
"It's so amazing how one decision drastically changes not only your path, but other people's as well," she mused to herself. "Oh well, it's for the best."

  
Truthfully, she knew her and Taylor would not make a good couple. She wasn't even sure if they'd even get along.

  
"Judging by the conversation we just had, I'd say not," she said to her walls which had a variety of those huge posters of Hanson, Eminem, and Evanescence on them. The faces frozen in time looked down at her from their places.

  
She studied one of the Hanson ones that was hung directly across from her bed where she lay with her hands behind her head. It was the closeup color one from the Acoustic 2003 tour. Tay looked so sweet, not like the jerk he had turned out to be in person. An angel look alike that was a devil. What an oxymoron. She smiled at that thought.  
She looked to her tv right across from her bed. On top in a frame was a picture of her and Justin taken of the Christmas just past. Both had such wide smiles on their faces. Laughter, happiness, no worries, not a care in the world. It had been so perfect.

  
Now people were trying to take it away from her. Rip Justin from her heart and have it bleed eternally.

  
She refused to let that happen. She had finally found happiness, found her soul mate, and by God she intended to keep it, hold onto it. No one was going to succeed in parting her and Justin. She'd die first.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Two days later Essence and Christine were sitting in Denny's waiting for Justin to come. Her parents thought she would be going to Hershey Park, which was around three hours away, for a few days with her best friend, when in reality she and Justin were going.

  
She still had two hours to wait until Justin would be there, so she and Christine were spending some time together.

"I know that Taylor hurt you and he seems like a jerk, but maybe the two of you could be friends. You did want that, you know?" Christine was saying.

  
Essence shook her head, "He's a complete and total ass. Nothing like how us fans thought he was."

  
"Maybe he just came off wrong. You did say he said he didn't want the marriage either. Maybe he is on your side."

  
"Yeah, well if that's even the truth. He makes me sick. He probably just wants to be with his precious Natalie," 

Essence replied, bitterly,"She's supposedly pregnant again. It's pretty clear he wants nothing to do with me."

  
Christine grinned,"You just contradicted yourself. Are you sure you don't harbor any feelings toward him?"

  
"Only hatred and loathing."

  
"Come on Essence, some of how you felt for me must still be there," said a very familiar voice.

  
Both girls' heads turned to look up at the tall figure standing beside their booth, grinning at the object of his supposed desire.

  
"Go away Taylor," Essence said.

  
Taylor's grin become a serious expression, "Look Essence, we need to talk. We got off wrong. I really would like to be friends with you. After all those years of thinking we'd end up together, well, I'd like to at least have a friendship with you." His deep blue eyes were filled with sincerity and he wore an anxious look on his face.

  
Essence sighed,"Fine Taylor, I'll give you another chance. But don't even think you can pull that cocky-ass bullshit again. If you do, you can kiss any chance at friendship goodbye."

  
His grin reappeared,"Got it."

  
"Well you two," Christine said with a quirky smile on her lips,"I should get going. I'll let you guys talk for the hour and a half you have before Justin comes."

  
Essence started to protest but Christine stopped her,"Look girl, you won't be able to see Tay for almost a week, so it'd be a good idea to at least talk now. Besides,"she checked her watch,"I promised Evan I'd meet him for lunch. I'll see you later."

  
Essence sighed,"Okay Chris, later."

  
After she was gone, Taylor slid into place where she had vacated. "You know, maybe we should start over," he said, sticking out his hand, the cheeky grin staying on his face,"Hi, I'm Taylor. Nice to meet you."

  
Essence laughed and her smile transformed her serious expression into sparkling eyes and straight pearly white teeth. She shook his hand,"I'm Essence. Nice to meet you too."

  
The shock of his solid, warm hand with the long fingers brought a slight rush of longing, which she quickly pushed back down.

  
"So Essence, how old are you?" Taylor continued the charade, pulling his hand reluctantly away from hers.

She laughed and replied,"It's okay, we don't need to start COMPLETELY over. I'm sure you know at least that about me."

  
"Actually I don't know too much about you. Our parents wanted us to get to know each other on our own. I do know your birthday though, which is in a little over a week."

  
Essence nodded,"That would be correct. Which is also the reason Justin and I are going to Hershey Park. Though my parents think I'm going with Christine, not Justin." As soon as that last sentence was out of her mouth, she was wishing desperately that she could take it back. It had slid past her lips so naturally. He had made her feel at ease. Which was definitely not a good thing. She didn't know if she could trust him and information like that could be very dangerous in his hands.

  
Taylor knew he could do two things with what had inadvertently slipped out of Essence's mouth. He could go tattle on her to her parents or let it slide. Both options were so appealing. Telling on her would ensure she not spend more time alone with Justin. Which sounded good to him. But that would definitely put him on her bad side. This time he knew he wouldn't be getting a second chance either. He didn't want that, not when he'd just gotten on her good side. So he just smiled and said,"Sounds fun. I hope you have a great time. When you get back, you and I will definitely need to hang out."

  
His words shocked Essence. He wasn't going to get angry? He looked genuinely happy for her. Of course, he could be planning to run to her parents at the first opportunity. Not that it would matter now. She snuck a glance at her watch on her wrist. If she could just keep him talking for an hour and ten minutes, Justin would be there and she'd be well on her way. But then she'd have to deal with them when she got home. She sighed inwardly, oh well.

  
Realizing she hadn't replied to his nice statement and suggestion, she pasted a big smile on her face and said,"Thanks. I can't wait to get there. It's gonna be so much fun. Oh, and yeah definitely we'll have to get together once I get back."

  
Taylor had been watching her face, a parade of emotions. Surprise, suspicion, anger, sadness and then a big smile. He knew exactly what she was thinking. Well, she'd be in for a surprise when she came back and her parents were still oblivious to the fact that she;d spent all that time with her boyfriend, not her best friend. Sharing the same room probably...same bed...in the dark...he shook himself out of those thoughts. The only thing he could do to intervene with that would ensure he never had a chance to win her over. So as much as he hated it, that was out of the question.

  
"So, have you been there before?" he asked.

  
"Oh yeah, it was a blast. I love that place!" she replied with enthusiasm,"The roller coasters are so incredible! I'd go everyday if I could and never get tired..."

  
Tay watch as she talked on and on about one of her favorite amusement parks. Her whole face, he noticed, lit up when she was genuinely excited or happy about something. She probably used to look like that when she talked about or saw me, he thought to himself. He sighed inwardly,what a bittersweet thing that is. He wished she still felt like she used to about him, it would make this all so much easier. It was his fault though, he knew that. Time to fix things then. Make it how it should be, he grinned.

  
While he had been letting his thoughts run wild, Essence had noticed the change in his eyes, a dark blue. Even though he nodded and said "yeah" and "mhmm" at the appropriate times, she could tell he wasn't hearing much of what she was saying. She'd seen that look on his face a lot over the years. In interviews where the questions that were being asked had been answered a hundred times before. She always wondered what he thought about when he zoned out like that. He was hearing but not really listening so much.

  
Which then it was funny, him ignoring the obnoxious hosts, but now it made her mad, him ignoring her. He is so wrapped up in himself. He doesn't even care. Ugh, she thought disgustedly.

  
She glanced at her watch again. Forty-five minutes to go. Feeling suddenly very thirsty, she picked up her glass of water and took a big drink. The coolness slid down, soothing her parched throat. Funny how thirsty anger makes you.

  
She narrowed her eyes at him,"Taylor, I know you're not really listening to what I'm saying. If I'm that boring, you can leave you know."

  
His eyes focused into an aquamarine color.

  
"Oh so you heard that, huh?" she said sarcastically.

  
"No no..I..was listening. I..was just thinking too.. I did hear you," he half stuttered, caught by surprise that she was able to see through his actions.

  
"Sure you were Taylor. I'm a big enough fan that I know you and your brothers' reactions at interviews and all. It's like a defense mechanism against boredom and repetition," she was tapping her fingers on the table, her black and red painted nails gleaming. She had an angry expression on her face. Her lips forming a straight line, her eyes flaming dark brown, one eyebrow raised in question at his blatant lie.

  
Okay, so he had underestimated this girl. 'Understatement of the year Taylor,' his mind echoed back to him.

  
He put a repentant expression on, with deep blue pools of eyes,"I'm sorry Essence, I was sort of listening, but not like I should have been. I promise I won't do it again."

  
"Don't give me that look Taylor. It won't work on me."

  
He opened his mouth to protest.

  
"I will, however, forgive you this once. Don't think you can pull it off with me ever though. It won't work."

  
He gave her a 'Taylor smile,' one that makes girls weak in the knees,"Thanks Essence. You're awesome."

  
"Oh, and Taylor?"

  
"Yeah?"

  
"While at one time they would've, your charms don't work on me anymore," she smiled sweetly and leaned back against the booth, arms crossed, watching as a surprised look passed over his features before he veiled it.

"Of..of course not. I can see you're not like most fans." Damn, this girl is making me stutter. I haven't been this tongue-tied since our first interview.

  
"Damn straight I'm not," came her reply, accompanied by a smug smile.

  
Just then a guy with a good number of piercings walked up to their booth,"Hey Essence."

  
Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice and she jumped up and hugged him, tight.

  
Taylor seethed silently until she turned around with a huge grin on her perfectly kissable lips. "Tay this is Justin, my boyfriend," she introduced him while his arm crept around her waist possessively,"Justin this is Taylor Hanson."

  
Justin looked him up and down. Seeing good looks. The charm. What Essence saw, well he knew her well enough to know it went deeper than that. Though he didn't see how. He probably never would,"THE Taylor Hanson, huh?"

  
Tay inclined his head in acknowledgement,"That would be me."

"I see."

  
The moment went on. Each guy sizing the other up.

  
It wasn't lost on Essence. Neither one said it was nice to meet the other. She could feel Justin's body language. He was faced with the guy who had had her heart and didn't know it. He gave it up to another. Essence was happy Taylor had relinquished her heart, that he had had no clue he had held it in his hands for so long. Until one day he closed those hands around it and squeezed until it ceased beating, laying still and massacred.

  
Justin had taken that mutilated heart and made it beat again. Made it whole and new. Now it was his.

  
Essence broke the silence before the testosterone filled up the room,"Well Tay, Justin and I should get going. It's a few hour trip."

  
"Yeah, you're right baby,"Justin agreed,"better get moving."

  
Taylor finally stood then,"Of course."

  
Essence pulled away from Justin long enough to grab her purse and duffel bag that had sat beside her on the booth. She dug in the purse and threw a tip on the table, then she and her boyfriend started walking away,"See you later Taylor."

  
"See you later," he replied. "Don't forget about what I said when you get back."

  
She turned around, an unidentifiable look on her features,"Of course I won't forget Taylor."

  
Then they both walked out the door, got in Justin's car and drove away.

  
Taylor got in his car also and watched them go, once again lost in his thoughts.

  
"We're going to have one interesting time when you get back," he said out loud. "Oh yes we are."

He smiled, one of pure evil intent and started his car, driving back to where he was staying.

  
Planning.

* * *

 

**A/N - This is as far as this ever got, if you'd like to see it finished, please comment.**

 

 


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